I know I talk about my first night a lot, but a lot happened that night that really set the tone for my whole existence in the Necropolis. From the green mist to the zombies to the monsters, and even The Shotgun, my first night really put me through the punches. Most of those things I haven’t dealt with since, but they lurk. And until now, I haven’t needed to use The Shotgun. Hell, I don’t need it now. But in trekking down to The Labyrinth, I come face to face with it, and there’s something different about it this time. I tell you all about it in my story below.
Before we get into that, though, there are some announcements. Catch up on the events, make sure to grab your copy of the Carnival’s Backstage Pass, then dive into my story. I hope you have fun reading this issue!
Great news! Well, kind of. The Events Coordinator has eaten a pretty big number of people who had events on the books, and now there is no wait list and bookings currently are out no more than a few months. Okay, this probably isn’t great news for those who were eaten, but if you’ve been waiting to book your event on the South Rotunda, now’s your chance.
Also, it’s probably not a great idea to pester the Events Coordinator with minor details, like receipts and collateral and such. I’ve said it before: they are Eldritch. They don’t care. They will eat you. Apparently. They will apparently eat you, and I know that now because that’s what’s happened to pretty much anyone that’s lodged a complaint. We though they went missing; nope, not missing at all. Eaten.
In other news, Management requests that you “stay away from the North Lawn until the gnomes have completed their migration.” Okay, I haven’t seen the gnomes myself, but since the North Lawn isn’t in use, I have no business there. Just stay in designated visitor areas and remember to follow the guidelines and you should be fine.
Make sure to grab your Backstage Pass:
I will never get used to that fucking Elevator.
After answering the riddle that plagued me for a week, the Sphinx was about to ask another but I shut it down, telling her that I really had to go and it was so much fun and maybe we can have lots of fun again another night, but not tonight because I was just so busy, and then I was in the Elevator and the doors snapped shut automatically.
No pause for me to congratulate myself on bypassing another riddle though. The Elevator immediately shot down to the lower level, rushing to slow down as it arrived. You know those carnival rides where they send you WAY up and hold the ride at the top long enough so you can see how high up you are, have a moment of fun seeing everything, realize how high up you are and are at the mercy of some mechanical monster, let the terror build as you anticipate falling to your doom, and then drop you?
The Elevator is almost exactly like that, except there's no waiting at the top, no view, just death plummet. I had fallen down as it fell, laying flat on the floor of the Elevator hoping I would not die, or worse, throw up. Thankfully, neither happened. The doors sprang open at the bottom and I peeled myself off the ground, still very much alive and with my lunch still very much intact.
Continued below the break.
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A patron falls prey to the whimsical magic of a touring artist. Currently only available on Apple Books.
I walked straight to the end of the hallway where the shotgun sat proudly, fresh boxes of shells stacked on the shelf below it. No "IN CASE OF TRESPASSERS, BREAK GLASS" sign screaming at me though. No glass at all. Just a brightly lit display and a powerful weapon calling out to me. I sat and stared at it for a moment, thinking of my first night on the job and how I was forced to learn how to use this weapon real quick. Come to think of it, I don't remember putting the shotgun away. I think I left it in the break room in the employee hall. How it ended up back here, I have no idea, but no one made a fuss about it so I guess it's all okay.
I stared a while longer at the weapon, and was about to turn and begin my exploration when I realized the shotgun wasn't calling to me figuratively, like it was my own longing wanting to reach out and take it. Nope. It was literally singing my name. It sound like metal clanging on metal, but at the right point, when it rings instead of scrapes. Kind of like a tuning fork. It was a ringing sound that vibrated all through body, clearly pronouncing my name.
Why is a gun singing to me? It sounded very sad, too. Why was it singing to me sadly? I was very confused. But I reached out and touched it, looking around as I did it. That made me feel like an idiot. What was going to happen? Was I going to get in trouble for handling the shotgun, the very thing I was told to make use of on my very first night at work? With a little more confidence, I grabbed the shotgun and picked it up off the display.
Immediately, the sadness seemed to melt away, and the weapon seemed to chime with tones of happiness. This was so fucking weird. Did the weapon really feel? As if to answer this thought, vibrations moved through me, making my brain tickle, and I swear I understood words or ideas that said,
"Of course we feel; we missed you. It's been so long since anyone's played with us."
That’s it for now! Thanks for reading. I’ll see you next week!
Hello there! Mad Alex here, popping in to say a few words before we bid you adieu.
Look at our dear little Groundskeeper, growing up and making announcements on behalf of Calamity Management. Isn’t that just so dear? Why, it seems like yesterday they were scrabbling for their life, and now they feel right at home in the Necropolis. It is just absolutely wonderful to see it.
If you’re enjoying this attraction, please, do consider subscribing. And once you’ve subscribed here, you might as well subscribe to the Carnival of Calamity’s Backstage Pass and get the full Calamity experience! We are very much looking forward to rubbing elbows with you behind the scenes.
Cordially,
Mad Alex
I get it, filling out surveys isn’t everyone’s thing, but you’d be doing me a solid if you let me know how I’m doing. With the Gazette getting started and all, this could be a really great time for me to figure out how to really nail it! But I can only do that if I know what you’re looking for. So what do ya say? Pretty please?
